Addendum to the Letter: What Tekanji said
I want to thank Tekanji for making the following comment on my Letter post. It deserves its own post, as she pointed out some things I inadvertantly ignored or iced over in my original post.
Overall a well-written and thought-provoking letter. I do have to disagree with one point, though:
We agree that we must all be aware of our class and race privileges if we have them, and we must be always ready to question our deepest thoughts and assumptions.
My experience has been that the kind of men you’re addressing give lip service to recognizing their race and class privilege, but so too do they give lip service to recognizing their male privilege.
I would also be careful about making those kind of comparisons — it comes awful close to “oppression olympics” and, indeed, some feminists of colour and/or not of a wealthy class would be able to tell you a very different story about the so-called race/class enlightened people of the Left.
I think the crux of the matter isn’t about what kinds of privilege they are (or seem to be) better at acknowledging, but rather that they present themselves as “always ready to question our deepest thoughts and assumptions”, when what that really means is that they are willing to challenge any assumption… except ones that are threatening to their well-being. Which, while an understandably human reaction (and one I can empathize with, being in the ongoing process of examining my own privilege), is still not acceptable. Not for gender, not for race, not for class, and not for any other kind of privilege out there.
For what it’s worth, I had not meant to suggest that the addressees of the letter where always successful in recognising and questioning their privileges, but I didn’t make that clear at the time. It’s not good enough for me to say I didn’t intend X, because it was my responsibility to examine the consequences of my words, and to look into what the function of them may have been. It is after all, the function of that racist comment, that sexist comment, that classist comment that someone makes that is important. Intentions are something, but any privileged person must know that they owe it to others to understand the impact of their words, and the effect they may have on marginalised people.
In conclusion, I’m sorry.
That’s why privilege is so tough to fight: people who honestly want to get over their privilege still are blind to certain things. I agree with what Tekanji said, but I didn’t see it when I read your letter. Damn privilege.
But when confronted with a differing view, you didn’t get defensive. You thought about it, incorporated it, and apologized. That’s what all of us need to do.
YAY you!
Comment by spotted elephant — November 6, 2006 @ 7:05 pm
I just want to say that I think your response to what I said was great and anyone who wants to be open minded about their own privilege would benefit from taking their cues from this post.
Comment by tekanji — November 9, 2006 @ 5:01 am
I am a U Whoredykebitchprude troll with the intelligence of a glass of water. Therefore, for the good of everyone in the entire universe, Laurelin edited my foul-mouthed rantings into something almost funny.
Wow, am I a moron.
Edited by Laurelin
Comment by booboo — November 10, 2006 @ 7:20 pm
I haven’t got the message and therefore I have just come back to write some more nonsensical bullshit on Laurelin’s blog. Naturally, she has edited me, as is her policy with trolls, so I intend to go and whine elsewhere to my other moronic friends about how the evil feminazi bitch took away my freedom of speech. Wah!
By the way, I am such a dense piece of rubbish that I cannot see the contradictions involved in a) referring to Laurelin as both ’semen-covered’ and ‘clit-licking’, and b) calling out Laurelin as ‘foul mouthed’ by saying ‘fuck you’ to her.
So to recap: I am a misogynist moron, I don’t understand simple instructions, I can’t take a hint, and Laurelin’s previous comment that I had the intelligence of a glass of water was offensive to transparent vessels and aqua based liquids worldwide.
I have learned my lesson now. Thank you Laurelin for showing me the light.
edited by Laurelin, in case you hadn’t noticed
Comment by booboo — November 12, 2006 @ 1:51 am
Hi, I’m a total asswipe.
Laurelin has edited me because she has no idea what the hell I’m talking about. She has given me twenty pence so I can call someone who gives a damn.
And because her lovely readers deserve better than my crap.
edited by a very bemused Laurelin
Comment by booboo — November 12, 2006 @ 2:25 am
And people wonder why so many feminist blogs go to moderated comments.
Comment by tekanji — November 12, 2006 @ 9:52 am