Would you believe it? Beginning a PhD is hard work! Since I’ve nothing new to blog on, I thought I’d post this very old ‘Open Letters’ post which never got posted before. Anyone is welcome to send me blogging ideas though, usual address 
(I mean, please do. Help me out! My brain’s stuck in the prehistoric period! I can’t think of anything to say about daily misogyny apart from bleeeeeeeeeeuggggh and grrrrrrrrrrrrrr! I’m bloggily challenged!)
Dear People Who Stick Chewing Gum on London Underground Posters,
I’m sure you think you’re reeeeeallly smart. I mean what could be funnier than placing a piece of chewed up gunk on the nostril of a picture of a Broadway star? Ha bloody ha. It’s gross. Chewing gum is generally foul stuff, but I don’t believe I have the right to stop you from having it yourself (although I will make faces and wince if you do it near me). You don’t have the right, however, to stick it in places so that it’s staring me in the face wherever I go and giving me the queasies. So stop it before I take whatever I’m eating out of my mouth and shove it in your face. Fair’s fair.
Screw you,
Laurelin.
Dear Newspaper Editors Insenstive To The Arachnophobic,
This is third time in two weeks I’ve opened the papers to find a whacking great big picture of a tarantula in my reading material, and I don’t think anyone appreciates me yelling ‘EWWWWWWW!’ across the room. Put a warning on the front, would you? It’s not exactly a rare fear to have after all; I have the same reaction to chewing gum but I don’t ask for any favours there.
trembling in fear at eight-legged creeps,
Laurelin.
Dear ’Cingular Ring Tones’ Morons Who Keep Spamming Me,
You’ve tried to comment on my blog about ten times now. If I delete your first nine attempts, what makes you think I’m going to let you through on the tenth? You could at least put a decent comment like ‘Hey L, you rock’ or ‘Excuse me, but I’d like to spam you’. Then maybe, just maybe, I’d be fooled. Really. Try harder or give up.
Happy with her paedestrian ring tone,
Laurelin.
I’m with you on the chewing gum – what are they – 12?
Spiders fine, as long as they realise that outdoors is their space, indoors is mine. I usually don’t kill them, but relocate them.
Call Trollbuster on your idiots! Let me guess the sex of the trolls *pretends to ponder*, male?
Comment by stormcloud — October 30, 2006 @ 2:12 am
I like spiders, but my phobias of snakes and a certain horror movie character mean that i can see why you’re pissed off.
As for chewing gum – that’s just gross. Find a bin, people.
Comment by Nella — October 31, 2006 @ 10:18 am
congrats on beginning your PhD.
proud of you from afar,
AP
Comment by antiprincess — October 31, 2006 @ 1:21 pm
Sooooooo with you on the arachnids – I can’t even bring myself to touch a photo of one.
*shudders*
Comment by laura — November 1, 2006 @ 7:02 pm
Chewing gum – it is a scurge. Wherever you sit – it’s there, ready and waiting for you to put your hand on it. Shudder.
Comment by TP — November 1, 2006 @ 8:31 pm
Love spiders, sorry.
My kids quote this:
Chewing gum is really gross,
Chewing gum we hate the most.
from the Johnny Depp Charlie and the Chocolatye Factory. We’re all with you on the gum.
Comment by sarmorrow — November 12, 2006 @ 3:26 am