The world is a fair place, you are told. At least here, in this country. You have the vote, you can work, you can study what subjects you like, and if you work hard enough you can even be Prime Minister. We’ve had a female Prime Minister, they say, what are you complaining about? How can you say the world is unfair?
You’re young, you’re a teenager and you walk past the shelves in the Newsagents. The pictures of half dressed women and girls stare out at you. You feel uncomfortable, you feel that something is wrong, though you can’t put your finger on it. You wonder if these girls knew they could be Prime Minister. You don’t like to look. The images seem to be drawing your attention towards parts of the women’s bodies: breasts, lips, hips. These are the magazines that men buy. You know that men like women, and this seems to be how they like women.
You mention your feeling to other people; they act in different ways. What’s shameful about the naked female body? They ask. Nothing, you say, and mean it, horrified at the idea you could have thought otherwise. Your problem is the way these naked bodies are posed, you say. They’re sexually liberated models, they reply. You must be a prude. You think maybe you are, maybe that’s the problem, it’s your problem. These magazines are popular, they assert. if you complain about them you’re censoring people. You’re imposing your tastes upon others. It’s not everyone else’s fault you’re sexually repressed/ insecure/ prudish/ ugly.
You feel bad. You have never wanted to censor anyone. You look at the pictures again, and see the women posed in such a way that men will like them. You think, maybe these women are smiling because men like them so much. Yet the smiles seem as artificial as their poses, as meaningless as the two-dimensional eyes staring at you.
You know something is wrong. It can’t be like this, this can’t be what being free is all about. This isn’t what being Prime Minister is all about. How can it be true that these women are powerful? Is it that important to please men?
You wonder if there’s something wrong with you, and conclude maybe there is. You are told that only failures blame the world around them, instead of Taking Responsibility. If you were liberated you would be happy.
But there’s nothing wrong with you. Not in the way you look, the way you think, the doubts you have, that sinking feeling. There’s nothing wrong with you at all.
You’re right. There is something wrong with the commercialisation of the body of women. If my views on the exposure of women mean that I am ugly, then hail to ugliness!
Comment by Rosemary — July 20, 2006 @ 9:36 am
Oh, L, I love this post and I love you! This is such a wonderfully written, honest, touching and TRUE post — I feel like I’ve just been given the gift of being inside your brain for a moment.
I know what you mean: I walk around half the time wondering what’s wrong with me — am I nuts? Am I seeing monsters that just aren’t there? Am I a “visonary” or merely paranoid?
I needed this post today, L!
Thank you!
Comment by Kaka Mak — July 20, 2006 @ 10:25 am
Nope, nothing wrong with us at all. Absolutely nothing.
Comment by manxome — July 20, 2006 @ 12:42 pm
This post is exactly right. Thank you.
Comment by sarahyell — July 20, 2006 @ 7:51 pm
Well said!
Comment by hexyhex — July 21, 2006 @ 3:36 am
How on earth do we start putting across that it is a not a woman’s primary duty to appear sexually attractive to any and all men? How do we explain that just because the women in those pictures are making money does not mean that they are taking control/have power over men?
Comment by darkgreylife — July 21, 2006 @ 12:57 pm
Thank you for summing up how anxious a lot of us feel every day whenever we enter our local newsagents.
Men won’t know how it feels until a ‘Page Four’ guy is introduced where we can peep at his phallus and treat him like a piece of meat… but of course us, women would never steep so low to that seedy, scummy level of total loss of dignity.
Comment by Sarah Parry — July 22, 2006 @ 11:35 am
We feel so uncomfortable because they’re reinforcing their ‘power over’ us.
We’re made to feel vulnerable….unsafe…in our bodies (the things we walk around in) when all our bodies are, are reduced to a wankfest (at the very least) or a fuckfest. There’s no way any thoughts of beiong able to be being Prime Minister can overcome that.
But it’s all somehow made out to be our own fault?
Thank you Laurelin. I love this post. xxx
Comment by witchy-woo — July 23, 2006 @ 3:34 am
Well and becoming Prime Minister, or Chancellor, isn’t going to stop us being part of the sex class anyway. Is it?
Thanks Laurelin for what you do here. I always eagerly look for your posts.
Comment by Pony — July 24, 2006 @ 4:49 pm
Just de-lurking to say thanks for another fabulous post. I’m glad there are so many wonderful feminist bloggers around, it makes me feel as though I’m not alone in feeling so angry and hurt at all the crap around us.
Comment by Liz — July 27, 2006 @ 10:02 am
This is great! Thank you for writing such a clear, concise piece.
YL
Comment by Yawning Lion — July 27, 2006 @ 12:43 pm
They really have done a number on us haven’t they? Reduced to meat and then told we’re mad if we are not comfortable with it. Despite much reading , research and thinking, I still can’t see how this has become so acceptable. I still have days when I think it must be me.
Comment by Becky Phillips — July 28, 2006 @ 3:07 pm
Would it be possible to flood the market with magazines showing desiderable, tender, soft-but-sexy, images of men? With big piles of men showing their sexuality -and nothing but their sexuality- in the cover? With men being treated as pieces of flesh?
And if it would be possible, what would be society’s reaction?
Comment by Ibn Sina — July 29, 2006 @ 8:35 am
Thank you for writing this. I’ve returned several times now to read it, each time wondering how you were in my head for most of my adult life.
Well, if there is something wrong with me, at least I now know that I’m not the only one with this affliction.
Comment by CoolAunt — July 30, 2006 @ 7:21 am
This is such a wonderful article. It just describes how I feel beautifully.
Comment by Kate — August 8, 2006 @ 4:27 pm
i havent been reading for a while, a combination of no real internet connection and trying to ruin my own life by moving all the way to brighton. but once again my girl, nail on the head. x
Comment by charlotte — August 12, 2006 @ 12:00 pm
That was an amazing entry. You described just how I’ve felt growing up – thank you xxx
Comment by Jess — August 18, 2006 @ 4:12 pm
Wonderful post.
The only place your thinking is wrong is when you imagined that these women are powerful. They’re not. They’re paid, but they have no power to speak of.
A woman with a mind like this who can write like that, now that’s power.
More power to you.
Comment by honestpoet — February 16, 2007 @ 3:05 am
This is the most reassuring blog that i’ve ever read. When I was younger I very nearly got into the ‘glamour’ industry. I had ‘profesional’ pictures taken of me, and I know know that the only reason why i did this was because i honestly felt that my ‘good looks and sexy body’ were the only thing that would give me any value in the world. Despite this though deep down it hurt like hell, and as mentioned above soemwhere in my gut it all felt so wrong. I’m a mother now, (a son) and i want so desperately to protect him from the damage that the media and pornography have on individuals and society at large. I’m still not over the damage it has caused me, and although i’m workin on it i’m not sure that the long term damage actually ever goes away. The scary thing is that it is everywhere and people seem to think that its okay. I hate it, and sometimes feel so stupid about the whole thing because if i say anything along these lines people just assume i’m just jelous or have issues. Well maybe i do, but is it any wonder? Anyway, thanks for this blog.. its good to know i’m not alone in these strong feelings about it all.
Comment by Ellie — October 14, 2008 @ 11:20 am