Know Thine Enemy- Species of Troll

Disclaimer: I know I said that trolls are best ignored, and I stand by that opinion- not that I'm always level-headed enough to take my own advice. But I think it helps to have a field guide of troll species, so that feminists can be prepared for the delusional onslaught. 

The 'U Whoredykebitchprude' Troll

A member of this species can usually be relied upon to prove whichever point it was that you made in the post they were replying to. It is nice and easy to weed out, and the delete button was invented as a response to its banal utterances. Argument and logic is beyond this species, and it is blissfully unaware that its saying it is so doesn't make it so. Not much point in trying to talk to these ones, unless you just fancy a laugh. They usually come out with a single sentance opinion such as 'u r a hairy legged dyke' (unaware, of course that none of that is actually an insult), 'feminism is crap u r all bitter bitches', 'hahahahaha I pity u u hate men.'

Never expect this species to engage feminists in debate on any intellectual level. It is simply not capable of that. It can be brushed aside with the back of one's hand, and should be dealt with as one would deal with a fruit fly- as a nuisance, but a harmless nuisance.

The Male Entitlement Troll

These creatures often come pretending to be interested in discussing feminism, or the future of feminism, which, surprise surprise, they see in a completely different light to, you know, actual feminists. According to them, feminists have to deal with the way in which white heterosexual males are routinely and systematically oppressed by… um…. white heterosexual males. If a feminist dares to suggest that women are the primary victims of male crime X, the troll will immediately respond 'but it happens to men too!', thereby insisting that 1% of the sufferers of a particular crime get the same amount of attention as the 99%. If a feminist points out that the perpetrators of said crime are 99% of the time male, the troll will reply in one of two ways. Either it will say 'it's not men that commit crime X because then you're saying it's all men and then you've offended me which is obviously the worst thing you could ever do', or it will say 'but here's an instance when a woman committed crime X to a man. Men are soooo oppressed!'

Along with this dubious logic, this troll assumes that it has the right to barge into feminist spaces and be listened to, obeyed, and taken seriously. Any suggestion that it help itself to a nice warm cup of Shut The Fuck Up will be answered with 'you're censoring me!' This call often provokes laughter and derision in the feminist foe.

The MRA Talking Points Troll

This species is very similar to the 'Entitlement' Troll in that it has the same delusional belief that it is entitled to be heard simply because it has a Y chromosome. It spews an acidic form of bile at its opponents which, while it looks and sounds revolting, dissolves when countered with logic, derision, facts and reality. This troll may attempt to appear as if it has done its homework, by citing 'facts' and figures, and will even sometimes include references to where it has found them. However, despite its mighty display it is not to be feared, as the majority of those references will lead the feminist back to an MRA site or some study from 1976 that was discredited twenty years ago. 

It may even, as a last ditch effort to derail feminist conversation, claim that we are at present living in a matriarchy, in which men have no real political influence (don't read this troll's words while drinking; hysterical laughter and soda consumption are not to be attempted at the same time). It will invariably have a story of how it or its associate was screwed over by some eeeeevil woman, and it will expect sympathy and attention because of it. A reply that it has experienced something akin to what women experience everyday will result in a fresh release of venom. So do it, it's funny!

The Chickenshit Troll

This species can display any of the charactaristics of the three troll types detailed above. It can use any one of a million anti-feminist arguments, but it will invariably sign itself as Anonymous. It is unknown how many there are of this species because it is impossible to tell one from another, since each one goes by the same damn moniker. Pointing out that its behaviour is cowardly in the extreme will often lead to silence or roars of indignation, in which it will claim that it doesn't matter that it refuses to give its name since a name means nothing anyway. It will have no qualms about unleashing tonnes of repugnant insults onto the feminist it is attacking, as it refuses to take responsibility for its actions. Best ignored, or edited.

The Pisstake Troll

This troll has 'evolved' from the Chickenshit Troll, and appears to be a relatively new species. It goes under a name it considers 'feminist', and proclaims agreement with views which no feminist has stated. It mixes up the views of different feminists to claim that feminists contradict themselves, and attracts an audience of the other species of troll to join it in snickering about how clever they all are. It will often direct the feminist to a spoof site where views this troll believes feminists to hold are unimaginatively parodied. Luckily, it can only command the attention of the rest of the troll population, and is best just avoided.

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